hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
