my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
