you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
