this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
