Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I am one with the molecules
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
