i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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