cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
