What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he puts the penis in happiness.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
