Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
