Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
