One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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