It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
