what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
