pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
