the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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