Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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