I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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