you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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