ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
