why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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