Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
