dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
