She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
