he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
