You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A+ Viking dick
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
