she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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