No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
