OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
