OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
