Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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