So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
