Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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