He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
