Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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