White coat. Heels.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
