Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
