that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
