exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
