woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
