Moan for me like Helen Keller
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
