I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
