Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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