i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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