So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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