Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
