Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we're so committed to being not committed
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
