apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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