Me. At least after what I've been through.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
