how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
