your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
