shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
