All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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